


Bastard and The Bitch

by Shipping_Sushi



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beauty and the Beast Fusion, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, F/F, F/M, M/M, Memes, Not Serious, don't execute me, pls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 13:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11276676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipping_Sushi/pseuds/Shipping_Sushi
Summary: A liar cursed by some blonde whore to be some fucking furry until he finds true love? Some white haired lunatic trying to outrun the law and find out what happened to his father while another pretentious blonde tries to throw him to the asylum?Why this fic is somehow worse than that atrocious Beauty and The Beast remake!





	Bastard and The Bitch

Once upon a time, there was a young Supreme Ruler. He had a name, but we ain't mentioning that shit right now. Too much effort, Google it later.

 

This young midget was fucking horrible. Jesus, you'd think he'd have gotten the kingdom killed by now!

 

But on this bitch's birthday, he threw a party. Only rich people and ~~his slaves~~ ~~his friends~~   ~~some suckers~~ his servants were invited to the celebration of the 18th year of him sadly living. Everyone was having a splendid time chatting on Myspace and ignoring this sucker.

 

Mother Nature thought this shindig was shit, and cried and lightning-ed. It was storming so badly outside that no one could leave this train wreck even though they all wanted too.

 

When things couldn't get any worse, there was a knock at the door. A young high school student with a freckled face and ebony hair was outside, asking for a place to stay until the rain stopped. The ruler laughed in her face when the only payment she could offer was a gun. The other people just kind of ran away, I mean fucking shit this chick has guns on her.

 

And then the darkest maiden in the land arrived with words that sent shivers down the spine every time they were remembered.

 

"MUKURO ARE YOU DONE WITH THIS YET!?" The blonde marched in, her gaze narrow. "I don't expect fucking much, but this is pretty easy- Ha!" She looked down (hahahaha) at the Supreme Ruler. "Lololololololololololol you're a fuckin midget. Gosh and I thought Hiyoko was bad." The Ruler rolled his eyes and splashed Panta on her face. "I'm fucking taller."

 

Now you see, you don't fucking throw Panta onto this chick. The Ruler learned that the hard way.

 

Her eyes drilling into his very essence, she grabbed the gun from her sister. "Well well well, you're such an asshole. A liar, a bitch, and short. Two out of three are awful, but I'm ok with you being a bitch. You compensate so much in the other areas though that I bet your dick's tiny, bitch." She shot at the ceiling, very very pissed to be honest. And then the ruler learned he had fucked up.

 

Using her own bitch witchcraft, the blonde had cursed him to be a beast until he found someone to love someone so short. And until then the gun would shoot out whenever it wanted. When it ran out of ammo, the ruler would be stuck like this forever. Considering that guns have less ammo than roses have petals, he had three years. This kid had til his 21st birthday to find love.

 

As a bonus the witch cursed everyone else in the castle too. She's so nice! They all became household objects, which is kinda worse than the midget's fate. At least he doesn't rust.

* * *

And the guy locked himself away, not to be seen for almost three years (which really sucked for him and his servants). Thus, the kingdom forgot about their ruler, and everyone became happier. The standard of living grew and the kingdom developed a nice economy. Families were generally better off, the population expanded, the education system got better!

 

One guy's going to ruin it all, in the name of "True Hope™ ."


End file.
